A close encounter with a psychopath, sociopath, malignant narcissist, or even a hard-core Karen can traumatize you. The Five Step Exit and HelpGuide.org may help you recover from that trauma.
First, though, if you are being terrorized physically or emotionally by someone you live with, I urge you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline or the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If the wait time on the Domestic Violence Hotline is too long, or if you don’t get a timely response from the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline and are in immediate danger, you may have to call 911 or simply run.
BUT, and this is critical, it is best to de-escalate the situation and plan a strategic, SAFE exit. I emphasize this because the number-one time for enraged men to kill their wives is at the crucial moment the wives begin total separation. I highly recommend Amber Ault’s The Five Step Exit for planning and executing the dissolution of a bad relationship. The book is available for purchase or review on Amazon, and you can see Ms. Ault’s professional accreditations on PsychologyToday.com.
The above is meant for anyone in a dangerous setting, not just for spouses. Adapt the resources to your situation, but stay alive!
After you’ve secured your physical safety, you can begin healing the predator’s unseen damage. Again, Amber Ault’s The Five Step Exit is a good place to start. Her fifth step is dedicated to recovery. Rather than summarize, I offer you Ms. Ault’s preface to the recovery phase:
“What are you recovering? By beginning to cultivate exquisite self-care for your physical body, your energetic, emotional, and spiritual self, your sexual self, and your social life, you are recovering peace, self-direction, ease, health, delight, and joy. You are recovering access to small pleasures, large dreams, and social stability. You are, in essence, healing yourself and your life and, in so doing, helping also to heal the world.”
Grand aspirations, for sure, but I agree with the school of thought to “go big or go home.” To Ms. Ault’s credit, she then delivers many pages of doable recovery strategies.
Another excellent source for healing from trauma can be accessed right now, free of charge, at HelpGuide.org Emotional and Psychological Trauma.
The HelpGuide.org website was founded in 1996 by the grieving parents of a 29-year-old suicide victim. It has grown into one of the world’s leading mental health websites, with millions of hits every month. The site’s mission is to “Empower you with the knowledge and skills you need to strengthen your mental health & well-being. We help you help yourself.”
This HelpGuide.org page is full of vital information, but you can click the fourth category in the left menu, “Healing from trauma,” and go straight to a list of trauma recovery tips. A bare-bones synopsis is:
- Get moving. Physical exertion is the most commonly recommended stress reliever of all.
- Don’t isolate. Being alone worsens the trauma; get into contact with people, even if it’s digital.
- Self-regulate your nervous system. This may include breathing and meditation practices.
- Take care of your health. Eat and sleep well; avoid drugs and alcohol.
The HelpGuide.org page goes into much greater detail, including trauma symptoms, when to differentiate between moderate trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and whether you might seek professional assistance.
After reading the Emotional and Psychological Trauma page, I now realize that I’ve experienced the symptoms of PTSD for decades. It’s a wonder that I stayed alive, let alone functional. Please see the fictionalized version of my misadventures in Memoir of a Repentant Psychopath, available on Amazon.
But for right now, I’m interested in your story. Did you find anything useful in today’s post? Maybe you find The Five Step Exit and HelpGuide.org mildly interesting, but you have other ideas. If so, please send them!
And if you need encouragement against a predator’s attacks, let me know. I’m done playing for the dark side; I did several years in a max security prison with gun towers, stone walls, razor wire and stabbings…the works. But after my parole, a superior psychopath inadvertently showed me the error of my ways. And now, I’m on a mission to help others avoid being preyed upon. You can leave a comment or drop me a line at RobertRedAct@protonmail.com
Robert Red Act